endings beginnings

No one stands still. We're all spinning this way and that, sometimes with a goal in mind, sometimes unsure what's around the bend. But you know and I know that I have had one firm goal this winter: to purchase a table that would expand and be large enough for our herd at mealtime. All those grandkids! And daughters with friends! And perhaps someday grandkids with their friends!

Very early in the game, I found a table that I thought would be quite fine. I called the store, learned the price ($2000 when you added two leaves) and sighed.

The search continued. And I found another table ($1200)! Hope rebounded. Maybe if I saved, and we sold our current table, and I talked Ed into sharing the cost? A big shake of the head from Ed.

So we traveled. To Jefferson. To Sun Prairie. To Cottage Grove. All in pursuit of a decent used table that would cut the price in half, or more. We checked the ads daily and selected ones that would look okay in our large farmhouse kitchen. And one was worse than the next.

But last week, Ed came with me to the furniture store (Rubin's) and while there, we found a table we both rather liked. It isn't authentic anything, but it strives to look like it's Mid Century Modern. It's made mainly of rubber wood, which sounds gooey and awful, but is actually a great hardwood found in southeast Asia and it grows fast, therefore appeasing anyone who has trepidations about cutting down forests to put a table in their house. You know whom I have in mind. The top is covered by a thin sliver of walnut. And the price? Just a tad over half of my last beloved.

You think this is the end of the table story? After all, I suggested there would be an ending today.

In fact, we were inching toward purchasing something else altogether -- a Craigslist table that is authentically Mid Century Modern. Made out of solid birch, by a Massachusetts company that any furniture nut would recognize (Haywood Wakefield). The owner wanted $1200 for it. It's a collectible! Ed waited the right amount of time and bargained her down to $550.

This morning, immediately after breakfast...






I took a deep breath and climbed into the truck next to Ed. This in itself indicates how much I am set on getting a table -- the truck smells like ten mouse families inhabited it all winter long. To say that it is not clean is perhaps the greatest understatement of the year. But of course, why should it be otherwise? No one uses it except on the rare occasion that we need to pick up a load of something or other or Nina gets it into her head that she needs a table for the farmhouse.

There are no shocks on that wreck and so we roar and bump our way to downtown Madison -- thankfully not a terribly long ride.

And there stands the table!






Ed says -- it's kind of bland.
I say -- true, but hey, it's Mid Century Modern! Though it does look more scuffed up than in the picture.

We do our usual -- ask the owners to please leave us alone while we talk it out.

I lean on it. It wobbles. And squeaks. It has a center leg for stability. The leg doesn't touch the floor.
I could try to fix that... Ed mumbles.
I touch it lightly. Wobble wobble wobble.
I want to love it.
I don't like it.

We explain why it's a no. The owners -- nice people, downsizing from Madison's posh west side house to a smaller posh west side house -- admit that it's not a favorite of theirs either.
Hard to keep in good condition... Probably needs refinishing...

As we leave, I say to Ed -- we have an hour or so before Snowdrop comes over. Want to go to Rubin's?






And that's how it happens that we drive home with a very heavy box full of table pieces.

Duly assembled by the both of us. So solid! And, you can take the leaf out, or put another one in. Expandable, shrinkable -- as the needs dictate.






Oh, Ed does mutter -- I thought you wanted a lighter table...
I reassure him that it will lighten over time. I think. And it really is just fine even in its current shade.

The table project receives a check mark. Done!






As for the rest of the day -- oh, that belongs to Snowdrop. She is spending a short weekend with us and she runs in with every intention of continuing her story just where she left it yesterday:

... and Susie fell soooo hard and bumped her head, so we had to take her to the hospital, where she rested and waited for the doctor. And I asked the doctor: why do you have a chair that jingles when you sit on it and the doctor said...






and so on,






and so on.






With a happy ending.






And the table quickly becomes a place to gather, talk, play, and eat macarons if that's where your heart lies.






It's dinner time. We will be breaking the table in for its first family meal. Snowdrop chooses the napkins (or what she feels ought to be used as napkins), sets the silverware.






We're ready. Ed comes home with the pizza, I put out the salad and... broccoli flowerets. Because there is at least one person in her home who doesn't adore broccoli, I found out recently that the girl doesn't really know this sublime vegetable. I serve us a small portion just so we can all savor its utter goodness. (I seriously love broccoli.)






Later, much later, she turns off the lights in the kitchen and throws herself into a high speed saunter, laughing and bellowing -- I am a shark, dancing in the dark waters! 

It is delightful the first fifteen minutes, but eventually, she has to be reigned in. There are many ways to do this -- this time she settles by going to my remote desk in the sun room, turning on the work light and scribbling away on index cards. You could say she is burning the candle at both ends tonight.







Good night little peanut. Sleep well, sleep tight. Dream of spring and summer. Of cousins and brothers. They're all just around the corner.

oops!

The great melt away is here. Frozen sheets of ice are slowly receding. It's good news, of course. We want an early spring.

(Breakfast..)





But here's the problem: just because most of the ice has melted, it doesn't mean that all of the ice has melted. And so you're less cautious. I am less cautious. How else do you explain the Great Slip and Slide on the way to my car? Legs flying high, I go straight down with a bang on my tailbone.

It was most unpleasant.

The last time I fell that hard was when skating in Greece more than four years ago. I was so sore then, that upon returning home, I bought a special cushion that helped me sit without pain.

I drag out the cushion once again.


In the afternoon, of course, I pick up Snowdrop. Here she is at school, with a teacher who deserves the hug Snowdrop delivers.





Walking with the little one from the car to the house, I am e-x-t-r-a cautious.
Why are you slow, grandma?
I fell on my butt (rear end? tushie? what do kids call it these days?) and it's sore.
Do you need a bandaid?
No, those only work for bloody hurts.
I will hug you!
Wow, thank you!

Apart from the reading and snacking, I'd say her afternoon is split between two activities: playing alone with her characters...





... and then (commanding a disproportionate share of time) telling a whopper of a tale about her baby who suffered a fall, necessitating a visit to a doctor.






This story lasted well over an hour and was full of drama and pathos!






Luckily, it appears to have a happy ending!






Evening. Ed and I reheat lentils and think ahead to the weekend. Ed managed to haul the truck out of the groundhog ditch so it's ready for a table, if indeed there is to be a table tomorrow.

Perhaps more importantly, there will be sunshine. And Snowdrop. And puddles in the driveway. No ice. Just puddles.

moving forward

We're not stuck in winter. We're not stuck in a landscape of frozen soil and patches of steely ice. We're not stuck in a table purchase impasse. We're moving forward!

But it surely looks otherwise when you look outside at the farmette lands and inside at the kitchen dining area.

(The cheepers slide cautiously toward me...)






Breakfast. No sunshine, but no matter. We're (slowly) climbing out of the winter chill today.






I settle in for a morning of writing, but I see that Ed is pacing. To the sheep shed. Not to the sheep shed. Upstairs, downstairs. Finally, he says bluntly -- you want to go look at your favorite (new) table at Rubin's (a local furniture store)? I'm a little at loose ends.

I know that this does not signify agreement. We have a Craigslist table lined up for a Saturday viewing. But Ed likes to examine all sides of the picture, if only to convince himself even more of the rightfulness of his position.

We drive out to Rubin's. We study a version of the chosen table. He does not reject it. But, it's new and it's certainly more expensive than the alternative on Craigslist.

As we meander across the Rubin's showroom, we pause by another table that strives to look Mid Century Modern (a style that I would not have associated with the farmhouse until we got the new-ish couch and then all hell broke loose and we veered in favor of the classic and simple lines of MCM). And it is cheap. Just a touch more than the older table we're to examine on Saturday.





All this to say that I think by the weekend we will have purchased a table. Which one? Oh, don't ask too many difficult questions! This one or that one!


In the afternoon, I pick up Snowdrop.

It is cold. It is useless, throwaway weather. No one mentions outdoor play.

Once inside, she reads, moves here, there, considering her options.

(She picks up her kaleidoscope. I try yet again to show her how to keep one eye closed. Can't be done. Not yet.)






But did you notice her hair? Pulled back as if she were going to a ballet class? Yes, that class, yesterday's class is still very much on her mind. She is in fact getting ready for an afternoon of most things ballet.

Dancing with her tutu'd Rosie...






Doing a giant ballet puzzle, then dancing on it...






Insisting on switching to a ballet skirt...

But I haven't a shirt for you!
How about this one? She drags out my one spare, used this summer for her backyard pool play...






Dancing with pink ball...






Balancing on pink ball...






Through it all, she is in her story telling mode. I catch snippets of ideas from books, others from her day to day encounters.

I send her home in a tshirt and a dance skirt. I'm sure her parents are thrilled/puzzled/not surprised.

Outside, it's sleeting or raining or both. March weather. You know March? The month that brings with it our most awaited, coveted season. We are getting awfully close to it!

Wednesday

Everything froze today. You know those big pond puddles? Frozen. Melted paths and driveways? Frozen. Well, it's to be expected. We can only hope that it's the last of the big freezes for the year.

But honestly -- I'm relieved that we're done with yesterday's cold wetness. We have a touch of sunshine now. That's worth a million in my book.

Breakfast.






And afterwards, I write. I'm on an Olympian roll: now or never. Finish, finish already! Move on, be done!

It is not an unpleasant way to spend a morning.


When I pick up Snowdrop, I just have to laugh! She is ready alright! Snow pants on, ballet shoes on!





I have ballet today! -- she announces to anyone who'll listen.

We go home to the farmhouse first. A few books, a snack, a few minutes of play. Ballet shoes stay on.

It's time to get ready, Snowdrop.
I can put on my tutu!





She gets over excited.

Her shorter hair needs to be pinned back. Now she is patient. Ed is fascinated by the whole process.






We're off. She relaxes. We arrive at class. She is shyer now, but not retreating. There is a constant wisp of a smile on her face.






She is completely attentive.





The story to be "danced" today is Snow White. They listen to the tale first and I wonder if they get a sanitized version of it. Snowdrop appears unconcerned and so I have to think the witch, in the dance teacher's reading of it, hasn't her nasty, villainous laugh.

The girls don their costumes for today's story. Here's Snowdrop, aka Snow White.





I'm thinking -- if she never wants to touch an apple again, we'll know why!


I drive home then. It may be icy, but it is still fairly light outside. We are inching toward the best seasons -- spring! (Pretend I didn't say that... I like them all!)

Tuesday

I'm going to say I've seen better days. Okay worse ones too, but still!

Let me release the birds of complaint and then come back to all that felt right.

First of all (not in order of importance), the weather is really not nice. It rained hard all night long. The ground is frozen and so flooding is an issue for many. On the upside and I mean literally the upside, we are on the hill. There are plenty of puddles...






... more like small ponds, actually...






But the farmhouse is dry. Well, from the ground up. We have some troubling bubbles in the wall but so far, the house has not caved in on top of us in a heap of wetness.

And the chickens remain pleased, though they hate getting their ankles wet in the puddles.






Breakfast. Nice.






But the morning is a mixed bag. The rain keeps falling. People around us are sick with bugs and viruses. Spring seems distant. I want to wake up to sunshine and reports of returns to good health!

On the upside, we are just south of the freezing line. We're getting rain, not ice.


I pick up Snowdrop. She is hoping for puddle time. She is dressed for the worst weather!






But one splash in the farmette waters and she knows this is not going to be fun. It's slippery and cold. Inside we go.

Grandma, I need to dry my clothes on the vent and change into pajamas.
Are your clothes wet?
Um, they need to go on the vent to warm up.











She throws a pile of clothing on the warm furnace air and settles into an afternoon of play in her pajamas.

Oh, and her flower "crown."






It's all about babies today. I'm thinking I've earned many points toward sainthood by acting as one of her charges all afternoon long. She is a bossy mommy!

I'm the mommy, grandma. Ask me why the macaron is blue!
Why is this (toy) macaron blue?
Because i made it with blueberry frosting!
Yum!

We continue thus.

Play ball!






Jump!






Eat ice cream.






Settle a crying baby.






Tumble and roll.






In the evening, the rains stop, the temperatures drop. Precipitously. 

I am so looking forward to March! On the upside, that month comes to us next week!

wet Monday

On the one hand, it feels like any other Monday: morning work at home, afternoon spent with Snowdrop.

But in so many ways, it's different.

For one thing, I was tossing a little at night and to move myself toward a more restful sleep, I picked up my phone to read a little of this and that. I usually reach for a book, but I didn't want to get sucked into the story, so I chose the phone.

What's this? A message from my credit card company. Suspicious activity. Sure enough, my card was hacked. Well, by chance, I caught it within minutes of the event. I put a block on the card and then of course reviewed into the early morning all the ways I have to reconfigure life onto a new card number. So much for restful night (though on the upside, I surely avoided a lot of accounting headaches by catching things early).

We eat a late breakfast...






And only then do I allow myself a look outside. I knew the snow was melting. I knew today there would be rain. I knew there would be bare patches. Still, it is a bit of a shock to go from a snowy landscape to the wet patchy puddly stuff we have now. The cheepers are rejoicing. There is earth underneath their scratchy claws again.






By the time I pick up Snowdrop, the rain is coming down consistently. Without pause. I learn that the girl has missed an outdoor play period for some inconsequential reason. Not surprisingly, she wants to make up for it now. When I tell her we may do some puddle hopping, she is ready to head out in a snap.






At the farmette she plunges in.






With a beautiful smile and a spirited splash...






Within minutes we are making boats out of seed pods and fish out of wood chips...





... and I swear we would still be there now, except quite suddenly (and I'm not clear if it was intentional), she sits down in the puddle and of course, that is the end of outdoor time.

Inside, I put on her pajamas and I spread out her soaked clothes on the heating vents.

And the rain continues.

In digging around her stuff, Snowdrop finds her sunglasses and perhaps hoping for a bit of bright sunshine, she puts them on.
Is the sun out, grandma?
No... all hidden behind clouds of rain.
Maybe a little of it is out?
Well, maybe in some corner of the sky (far far from where we are).






Playful girl...
Maybe a bit too playful, considering how little rest she has had in recent times.






Grandma, am I wearing you out? Am I? (She got this from an Olivia book.)
Hmm...





... no, sweet one. Never.

Well, at least, not tonight.