December 22nd

Shopping for food. I should have used that as a header. Because on the day or two before Christmas Eve, I shop for food. Not staples -- flour, sugar, eggs -- those were stockpiled earlier. But the stuff that has to be fresh: berries and chickens. A cut of beef (yes, beef -- my once a year beef purchase comes now!). Flowers and croissants.

Such luxury! Impossible to justify in any way. Except maybe that it is a holiday where we gather at the table, for sure, all of us, together and there will be food. Gloriously shared. Loved.

 

It's another gray day, but a tad warmer. I am up early of course. I drive first to Madison Sourdough -- my bakery of choice. (I know the route so well that I can take the photo of the skyline at the right moment without even glancing in that direction. Today the lake is utterly still...)

 

 

It will be the last visit this year because they close for ten days beginning this Sunday. So I stock up here as well. (So does everyone else: their sourdough shelf is empty by the time I get there half an hour after opening. Luckily, I reserved.)

Breakfast with Ed and a very needy Dance.

And now I go back to my new grocery store. This place too, threatens to have empty shelves -- not of everything, but of my essentials. I take the last piece of beef, the last containers of whipping cream. Shopping for Christmas meals is tricky: you have to do it just before, but not just before, because just before is when the cream disappears and you really need that cream for the buche de Noel.

I meet my daughter at the store. Deliberately. We have our own carts, but this is a good time to catch up and plan for the days ahead. And compare notes. And then we return to our own homes.

 

It's time to pick up the kids. The last day of school this year! 

As a parent, I've always loved the reprieve winter break brings us. All of us. Sure, crazy busy because of the holiday (so many special meals to prepare! so many gifts to purchase, wrap and exchange!), but still a reprieve. When I worked, it would signal a break from teaching. And from getting up early to see the kids off. When they were little -- a break from packing lunches. A break from homework! A break, a reprieve, a gift of time! Intense, but still, so wonderfully special. We focused on home. Magic unfolded.

Now, as a grandparent, I still feel that sense of relief, even though it is no longer my job to hustle kids through school, or to get work projects tidied up for the semester. Still, we all made it, and now the family is coming together, and friends send messages, and it is so incredibly beautiful!

This afternoon, of course we do the usual: read, eat, play, read some more. The Christmas tree is already a fixture. We've grown used to its presence. And yet...

(He's proud of his pj's)

(She's proud of her recognition)

They leave, I make an aperitif of a Torino vermouth and white wine and I settle in on the couch with Ed, feeling so incredibly lucky and yes, joyous. 

with so much love...