Monday

With the three Madison grandkids, I had three tries to get school drop-off to work perfectly smoothly. It was hugely more complicated because I was dealing with three kids, two different schools and three lunches and snacks to send with them. Here, in Chicago, I am charged with taking only one child to school and she takes school lunch so there's not much prep to worry about.

However.

It's Chicago! Her school borders on the downtown area. There is rush hour traffic. And the parents aren't out on vacation, they're stressing over their younger one's ears, so I don't need to add to their worries by getting any drop-off details wrong.

The solution? Go over the plan in your head, especially the routing, many times, and do this in the middle of the night so it stays fresh, and get up just after five to give yourself a whole hour before the girl herself has to be up. 

Talk about over-preparedness!

Still, as a result of excessive planning, it all goes smoothly.

Breakfast, brief play, all of it.

It is freezing cold outside (in Wisconsin we had a dusting of wet snow) so it's time to take out the winter jacket and winter cap.

Primrose is agreeable, tho she notices the utter silence in her house without little Juniper (or her parents) in it. I shake things up by pretending to be traveling granola. She laughs all the way to school.

And now it's time for me to drive back home. 

(With a pause for a Chicago morning coffee at La Colombe)

Turns out that Snowdrop has another school-free day (who knows why) and so she (and working parents) is waiting for me to get back to the farmhouse so that she can come over for a visit. I tell her that can happen as soon as I get home, but only if can plant bulbs in the early evening. Those bulbs HAVE to go in today and tomorrow!

But in the end, I put in zero bulbs. The wind is blustery and the occasional snow squalls are enough to send you inside. 

Okay then, tomorrow for sure! In the mean time, she and I do our read-play-eat routine in the comfort of the warm farmhouse.

And so it's a full day. Beautiful in all ways, though as always, it's hard to leave behind the Chicago bunch. Primrose had asked if after I'm with Snowdrop today, I could come back and do a pick-up there, back in Chicago. She wasn't totally serious, but there was a wistfulness in hearing her muse like this, certainly on my part. It's not easy to leave those you love, even for short periods of time.

Still, I have before me a few days with Ed (before we go off on our own adventures later in the month) and there's no doubt that this is wonderful. I'm not allowed popcorn yet, but we have our shared time in the evenings and it, too, is priceless.

With so much love....

in Chicago

I always eat so well when I come to this city! This visit is no different.

Of course, I relish my breakfasts here with Primrose. Or, like today, with the whole gang. We always have granola with yogurt and fruits.

But it goes way beyond that. For instance, after a morning of play, the four of us go out for brunch. Wait, did someone say morning play? Who is playing and what are the fav games?

Let's look. (Dress up!)

Well that seems lively! So, what about brunch? Where to? A family favorite: Middle Brow. It's one neighborhood over. But we are game for a brisk walk. About 45 minutes each way. Such a beautiful fall day!

The food here is so delicious -- breads, salads, eggs, all of it -- that it calls for a small beer, or in my case, a beer touched with an aperitivo. I'd never had that before! 

The girls love their pizza, the grownup girls are thrilled with their brunch dishes. Totally thrilled.

We walk back.

We nap. Well, kids do and grownups drink coffee to keep from napping.

And when everyone is awake and aware, we take out paints (again, a general "we").

And now we have another task: trying on the costumes for Halloween. Primrose very much wanted to be Maid Marian form an older Robin Hood movie she'd seen (where the characters were actually foxes, playing out the roles of the storybook characters). That called for giving Juniper the part of a foxy Robin Hood. Here they are!

And now it's getting late.  Sunday evening asks of us that we get ready for the week ahead.  Baths, a review of schedules, calm moments before bedtime. Dinner, with a plate of charcuterie and dishes of pasta.

And so ends a beautiful weekend. 

A few more hours with my daughter and then my son-in-law is home and we put aside more visiting because it's going to be a very early morning for all of us. Juniper is to have an ear procedure in predawn hours and I'm to get Primrose up and off to school. Then home to the farmhouse, to pick up another granddaughter at her school!

But all that's tomorrow. Tonight I go to sleep with that deep satisfaction of having behind me a set of beautiful, delicious days. 

With so much love...

to Chicago

And I'm off to Chicago again. Early. Though not so early that I haven't the time to take care of these chicks.

We had a frost (can you tell?), but just barely. The hose is still connected and I take a moment to water yesterday's plantings. No rain in the forecast. They need water to get those roots to do their thing.

(fall colors)

And I give Ed a haircut. He needs one. And of course, we have breakfast.

But then it's time to pack up the car and head to the big city.

My daughter's husband is out of town and she could use a hand. Or two. And it's a grand opportunity to spend more time with the kids and their mom.

(just back from ballet class)

(Primrose loves to play dress up; today she got Juniper, who is ten months old today, to go along.)

It's a cool day, but brilliant nonetheless and I take Primrose out with me for a walk. (She takes her new beloved possession -- a lunchbox.)

To the neighborhood grocery store.

At home again: playing "hibernating bears."

My daughter is making dinner tonight -- chili. Everyone has their own special chili recipe and I'm curious how my daughter's is spiced and prepared. Truly, it is delicious!

Juniper agrees. She has seconds! So do I.

The littlest one goes to sleep, us three older guys stay up to eat ice cream and blackberries over what has to be one of our favorite movies (Coco). And then Primrose is off to bed and it's just me and my big girl. We talk about the kids, yes, of course, but also about past trips taken, just the two of us, and future ones still ahead of us, and it just feels so good to be in the warmth of this household sight now!

With so much love...

for the love of bread

This afternoon I am to babysit Snowdrop and two of her friends over at the grandgirl's home. My first thought is this: what after school snack should I bring over for the girls to share? Grandmas thoughts always do run to food...

Fruits. Yes, mango because they are tasting so good these days! And strawberries. Also lovely right now. Special stuff. The kids have plenty of apples in their lunchboxes. What else? Let me go to the bakery and pick something out!

If ever there was a flimsy excuse to make a morning run to Madison Sourdough...

The thing is, I love poking into a bakery early in the morning. The smell, the packed shelves of breads and these days --croissants, pains au chocolat, cinnamon rolls. The line of people waiting, with their vision of maybe a morning treat with a milky coffee, or a good bread for lunch. 

I have loved bakeries since I was a kid. You'll know of course that postwar Poland experienced food shortages in the years I was a child there (if you don't know, you could read about it in my book, Like a Swallow!). But bread was ubiquitous and both bread bakeries and pastry shops never seemed to have the shortages that grocers and meat stores experienced. Warm breads and of cakes from the pastry shop around the corner. Mmmm! And this love of shopping for baked goods has stayed with me. When I'm in a new city, one of the first things I take note of is its bakeries. In Paris, I'll never pass a pastry shop without staring down at what's inside. 

True, I am myself a baker. I have made cakes at home since I was thirteen years old and I have baked continuously since then, trying my hand at restaurant baking as well for a number of years. So you could say I'm just in love with the product that comes out of the oven. Ed notes that I bake mostly to have sweet treats for when Snowdrop comes here after school. He tells me he himself loved to open up a cupboard at his grandma's house and reach for the special cookies she stored there for him. So maybe it is a grandma thing? 

No, it's more than that. Bakeries, coffee shops with pastries -- these institutions are up there for me, as magnificent as the great galleries of the world. As sensual, evocative and pleasurable to frequent as any monument or garden. And so today, I put in my order to Madison Sourdough and head out to pick it up.

(It's such a pretty drive to it, though I admit, having a shop like this within walking distance would be even better!)

All this happens after feeding the animals, of course. My it's nippy out there! Just a few degrees above freezing. Brrr!

Not in the bakery of course, where all is warm, fragrant, delectable and beautiful!

Breakfast, with a split croissant and pain au chocolat and one last posy of dahlias from the garden.

Yeah, the garden. That box filled with a great deal from one of my favorite gardening centers (51 bare root lilies and 100 daffodils and 50 crocuses) is staring at me each time I go in and out of the farmhouse. The lilies need to go in. The bulbs too, but the lilies need to establish themselves now, before a heavy freeze sets in. I'm really pushing it by putting them in this late.

Sigh. It's cold. It's windy. The cheepers are digging up the weeded space in the newly extended sunny bed. And I have to be careful with my eye. Nothing is easy about this job today.

I take out an old cushion Ed once picked up at the curb. He uses it for sitting outside when working on a motor. I throw it down in the middle of the bed hoping that it will keep me from bending down too much (a no-no for my eye) and get to work.

Yesss!! 51 lilies, in the ground. My eye lets me know it's doing just fine. 

In the afternoon, I pick up the girls at school (happiness is bringing friends home!)...

... and transport them back to the house. After making sure there's a snack on the table, I hang back, because this isn't my playdate, its theirs.

(joining in on the snack)

Eventually parents take charge and I return to the farmhouse. 

It's still not dark outside. Out comes the cushion, the spade. In go the daffodils. Just 25, but it's a good start.

Evening. I bake a fish, roast some cauliflower and toss a salad. Candle burns, cats sleep. Good days, quiet nights. A wonderful combination.

the next day

Well that was one weepy evening! I felt like someone had dumped half the Sahara Desert into my eye. Every time the lid went down, it heaved shreds of glass and sand particles across the eye ball, releasing the next torrent of teary nonsense. All the meds in the world were not going to end that for me so I finally gave up and went to sleep, sealing my eyelid shut with tape handily provided by the surgical center.

And in the morning, the skies had cleared. The sands had shifted. The shreds of glass had cleared. I opened my eyes and they felt close to normal! And I thought how unpredictable this world is! The surgery on my first eye had been difficult, but the recovery was quick and easy. The second eye? Breezy surgery, tougher recovery! 

Resuming a more or less normal routine, I'm out of bed and out with the animals at not too late an hour.

It is unfortunate that my fall bulbs and plants arrived yesterday and they really should go into the ground very quickly, even as I am reading all these post surgical instructions about the need to not bend, lift, or steal (well, not steal) for the next few weeks. I will find a way to plant! But not today.

I am, however, up for baking and since I have bragged endlessly about how I can make blueberry muffin with eyes closed, I set to it. With eyes mostly open.

Breakfast, with Ed and with muffins.

Afterwards I embark on my new and exciting life without glasses. Sort of. My doc tried to give me both worlds: one eye that can read and one that can see distances. In trying for both, I probably wind up a little short on having a great result on either. First on my list of new acquisitions is a pair of reading glasses. Ed, who needed readers too after his cataract surgery nudges me toward his choice: a pack of six for $10. Use one from my batch!  You have never seen less attractive glasses. Still, to his point, you dont have to spend a lot on these things! Even fancy readers are going to be one twentieth the cost of bifocals. I am in a new, much less expensive world of glasses.

My surgeon inspected her work this afternoon. She is one who usually gives a good spin on anything coming out of her eye clinic, and this time I really have to agree -- the eye, despite its issues, seems to be functioning decently! 

I cant believe you did twelve surgeries yesterday -- I say to her with not a small amount of admiration.

Actually fourteen. My kids tell me they dont want to be doctors because I work too hard. But honestly, you can work as hard as you want to. For example, I get Monday mornings off. To do paperwork...

From the clinic, I scoot over to pick up Snowdrop. 

We note the cold. "I borrowed a friend's gloves today!" 

She notes my absence of glasses and tells me she likes me with them on. 

Oh, but I have better ones now! For reading! Reading? I want to try them!

I have to think someday soon she'll need them. Her mom was already wearing glasses in second grade. Maybe earlier. How good it is that we have these tools to help us navigate very tiny letters!

Much later, as I drop the girl at her brothers' school (where their mommy will be claiming all three), I see Sandpiper in the playground. I go over to say hello, but then of course, this makes him eager to go home. Except I really should not be carrying him today...

Don't worry, gaga, I can carry him!

Evening. Eye is healing, and, too, I am nearing the post-oral surgery time when I can eat popcorn again! Well, maybe not just yet. But soon! The week is ending so well for us here, in our little corner of south-central Wisconsin...

With gratitude and so much love...

the second eye

I've heard it all -- people who have had superb vision after cataract surgery, people who felt worse off, and still others who were horrified after the first eye, but cheered after the second was fixed. Me, I had my first eye cut up months ago and it wasn't exactly a winning surgery. In many ways I was worse off than before. But, you can't just rush to blame the doc with the scalpel. My eyes have issues, making them poor candidates for restorative lenses. I can see okay, just not exactly with great clarity. 

Now comes the second eye. Where I will land after the surgery is anyone's guess. It's exciting! Sure, I could fare poorly. But, I could fare well! And in any case, I most definitely will say goodbye to my glasses. (Even though I may need other glasses for any number of activities. We shall see! Ha!) 

Today is the day when I am slated to find out. 

But first, there are the animals to attend to. And I do a spot check of the farmette lands. We had quite the storm last night (I told you it was a strange 24 hours!) and though it's good for the plant life, those kinds of winds and downpours can really put a dent in an Autumnal garden, especially one that's in its last days of standing upright. 

Despite the night's chaos, things look fine!

Can't eat breakfast. Not before surgery. Ed drops me off and I am once again walking through the steps of getting an eye lens replaced and cataracts removed. And three hours later, I am home.

Breakfast at 2 pm! With Ed, sort of: he stays on the couch, I snuggle in on the loveseat as soon as I get the cat to move over.

Still later things go a little nutty. Neither eye is working well and as the meds wear away, I'm thinking t am now worse off than I have ever been. BUT, I know it's just a passing thing. By tomorrow, I should be on the road to two good eyes. For now, I type blindly. (For example, in an answer to my daughter's text I wrote: Do I’d it feel hrr er mogul for him?) 

Ed, sweetly solicitous, puts endless drops in my nonfunctional eyes, and we binge watch Longmire. Me with my eyes mostly closed.

Okay, it took some effort type this. Until tomorrow then.

With love...

Tuesday

You know the definition of eerie: strange, uncanny, sinister, ghostly. It's when the cats creep, low to the ground, rather than walk. Stealthily rather than briskly. When you find a couple of food tins on the path to the barn, so you know that someone had gotten into the sheep shed. A thief. An animal thief. It's when the weather is too warm for October 11th, and you check the weather forecast and you see that storms are heading our way. Cracking popping storms. Maybe. It's when one of the barn cats that never ever comes our way, to the porch, let alone into the farmhouse, makes his way to the porch, and into the farmhouse. And the winds howl and the lilies defy you at every turn, blooming once again, ignoring the coming of winter.

Eerie.

Even as the landscape around us looks so normal and innocent, unthreatened and calm.

Breakfast. I wait for Ed. He sleeps, doesn't sleep, says he wants to sleep, in the end comes down and joins me.

I will myself to finish up at least a basic weeding of the beds. I work up a good sweat. It's that warm outside. 

Ed asks -- want to do one last kayak trip?

No, I can't. No time. Besides, I'm spent. Weeding in this dry clay soil is tough work. You go.

He wont. He wants do something together. I'm hearing this theme a lot lately. 

We go for a walk. A beautiful walk, because, well, it's mid October in south central Wisconsin. 

But half way into it, the weather shifts -- from partly cloudy to drizzly and wet.

Weird. It was supposed to stay dry until evening. Hahaha! Caught you by surprise, eh? 

We don't care.

(this will definitely be the last photo you'll see of me with my trusty glasses)

I pick up Snowdrop at school. She's wearing pajamas because it's school spirit week and for some reason the schools consider pajama wearing to be a perfect act of solidarity. The kids love it. Snowdrop loves it. 

But we are in a hurry. Barely enough time at the farmhouse to make progress with a book she desperately wants to finish. Can't do it. It's ballet day. And things get twisted here. Her tights get muddied. We need to do a clean up and redress and then there's that mandatory bun! But, Snowdrop stays on task.

I can't believe we make it to class on time, but we do. I am so proud of us!  

(her school friend is also in this class -- reason enough to always come into the studio with the biggest grin)

Class ends, she goes with mom, I head home where the cats are vigilant (why?) and the chickens are hiding and, well, it's eerily still. I can imagine an owl somewhere in those tall pines watching over us all, waiting for her moment.  

I walk briskly into the farmhouse and turn on a bunch of lights. Ed looks up, looks down again. Day is winding down. I take out the big yellow soup pot and get to work on supper.