moments of pleasure

Which wise person reminded us that the greatest pleasure, happiness, contentment -- call it what you want -- comes from the smallest things, events, moments in your day? Was it Epicurus and his philosophy of modest pleasure? Socrates, for whom the secret to happiness was not in seeking out more, but to figuring out how to enjoy less? I'm thinking actually of someone like the German poet Wilhelm Busch, who claimed that happiness is found in paying attention to everyday, minor occurrences. I think Tolstoy made a similar claim. Beauty in small things. It's an idea that has been repeated over the centuries, and yet, here we are, waiting for the big events to sweep us away. A wedding, a lavish cruise, the best camera to take the best photos. All good, I'm sure, but I had to smile as my daughter wrote this morning how much joy she had in seeing her two younger kids, and especially Sandpiper who starts kindergarten this year, enter the school on go-to-school day yesterday. His own space to hang his jacket and backpack, his own school supplies, his own classroom. Here, let me post (with her permission) two photos from that first school visit (as a student -- he'd been to the school as a sibling numerous times for various sibling events): 

 

 

 

 

 

 Also from yesterday -- an evening photo of mine, this one of Millie being blown away by the sight of the moon (or so I'd like to believe!):

 

 

 

This morning is again beautiful. I know this endless string of gorgeous days will come to an end. I will miss them. 

(here's a delight: the return of my hummingbird)

 

 

Though I must admit -- I do not last long on the porch. Breakfast, and a brief reading spell...

... and then Millie and I retire indoors. Without a breeze, the sun can get quite intense, even in moderate summer temperatures. I wonder if that warmth will make it possible to sit outside on a sunny winter day, as you would, say, in the mountains, where the sun's heat can often have you pulling off your jacket, even on snow covered hilltops.  

Millie's coat is getting long again. She gets hot quickly and so I pass on taking her to the park. We do walk over to Tati's and I'm happy to report that if you tell her "we're going to the coffee shop," she gets excited.

 

 

 

And once there, she looks expectantly at me. Don't you owe me a pup cup? -- her eyes ask. 

 

 

 

Later, we do spend some time outside in her yard. I have to water and snip the roses there. She loves going out to it with me. She runs, she rests. She very much believes it to be her special place. And it is. And I'm glad.

 

 

Much of the rest of the day is a throwaway.  I have a good Zoom call with Bee, but I can't say that anything else was productive (meaning there was an unhealthy amount of screen time in the mix). I'm still in shock how quickly everything flipped on that first weekend of the month when I found out my friend was ill. Trying to keep tabs on how all that is going, keeping in close communications with her family and friends -- this takes an enormous amount of time and it's draining. Ed can tune out trouble like you wouldn't believe. Me -- I can function alright (resilient!), I can find those pockets of pleasure, but just that. I aim for nothing higher. A real Tolstoyan attitude, no? Low expectations, eyes wide open to the beautiful day, the flowers and sunshine. My cool home. My pup. My cup of coffee at Tati's. Lovely moments, all of them. It's just that half of my head (or is it more?) is wrapped up in the gauze of that other happening -- the unraveling of a person that I've been very close to for a very long time. I suppose we all unravel in some way at some point, but when it strikes close to the heart, well, you close yourself off to the pleasures of the type Socrates told us we should give up on anyway. The big stuff. 

Okay, time to walk Millie one last time. If anyone is my round the clock source of tickled pleasure it's that girl. Always there. Always anxiously watching to see what's next. In reassuring her, I reassure myself. Good stuff ahead of us, my girl! Good stuff ahead!

with so much love...