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I have never yelled at anyone in my life. Nor have I ever done the passive aggressive thing where you refuse to speak to someone who you think has wronged you, for ages and ages. Both were practiced by one of my parents. The other parent was of the calm sort, until he turned 60-ish and then it was all high drama, spurred on by alcohol. For me -- it's not that I dont get upset. I do! And I admit to, in the past, writing very upset emails. Spurred on by a glass of wine. But my default is to withdraw into myself until it's safe to come out. 

 I write this because there's a lot going on in this world and all around me, and it struck me today that I should be angry. Everyone else is angry -- where's my fighting spirit? But that missing gene in me is a real roadblock to what should be a state of fury and rage. Wouldn't it be nice to just scream at someone? I'll never know.

Nonetheless, I'm not blind. There's a lot to be upset about and, as I said, I do not have a missing "upset" gene. But here's the thing: when you pass 70, you realize that getting upset will interfere with finding joy in what could be the last good years of your life. A significantly more palatable option is to redirect yourself toward doing something you love. Roses came along when I was on the prowl for that something. And Millie? Well, she has been a godsend in a million ways! She is my rock solid super-girl. Do you wonder that I thought about her when I was in Paris? That I bought for her that striped Bretagne dog shirt I saw on my visit there to the pet store? And that I supplemented it with a beret, and put it all together for Halloween? To those in the know, I say she is my French fille. To most, I just say she is my little jailbird.

 

 

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Breakfast on this last day of the month.

So, Halloween. A cool one. With a chance of rain, but only with that chance. Millie, we're going to participate! I have a toy French poodle for you too!

 

But of course, participate in what way? It's not as if I'll be taking her out to collect candy! 

Maybe we can do a Halloween walk...

All those kids out and about! And people, finally using their front porches! Millie is transfixed! What the hell is going on out there? 

I had worried that she would be scared of all the noise, the activity. Initially, when we hung out on the porch, she was merely excited. Once it got dark and we went inside -- well, she had to bark. Tail wagging, but bark she did. At every child who dared pass our house on this night of spooks and goblins and Bluey characters and of course, the occasional Elsa.

Sweet sweet girl of mine! 

Tomorrow, I'll go back to digging holes for roses. Today, Millie and I hung out. And it was grand.

with so much love...